My 9 Favorite Things of 2009

And then it's 2010. I have no plan of turning this post to one of those cliches where people tend to talk about how "so many things have happened" and how "memorable this year is". I'm trying to break the chain of turning my blog into such. It's actually one of the reasons why I don't blog often anymore. It seems to me that my posts are turning to gruelling repitions of my daily experience, which doesn't help at all in making me more appreciative of the various turns of my often times monotonous life.

It's not yet 2010, but I somewhat have the same agenda for the upcom ing year; it's to stop making my life the way I make my posts. I need to stop using cliches in my life. 2010 is not only a start of a new year, but also a start of a new decade. It's time to be more decisive, daring (it's funny that I mentioned daring for I literally run away when my classmates decided to ride the Space Shuttle at EK) and perhaps more philosophical and mature. Now I don't want to think so much about how I wanted my life to be at the end of the decade for fate always have a way of sneaking and pinching (sorry, I can't think of another word to substitute the F word) me behind. Fate proved to be very consistent in doing that, so I'll take whatever comes na lang.

I remember posting my "8 Favorite Things of 2008" last year. I don't know but I kinda liked that post. Not only do I get the chance to name my favorites, but I also get to reminisce on the moments and memories associated with them.

1. MOVIE

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

This is the only movie that made me cry long after the credits rolled. It's one of those movies that will take you days to digest and excrete from your system. I've never been so shocked and so emotionally bombarded before. I was with Aurora when I watched this movie and it's quite embarassing that she gets to be the one who became concern and later on laugh at me for my reaction. Well, what can I say. It is what it is. It's simply the best movie drama that I've ever seen.

Runner Ups

Avatar - Watched this one when it premiered in cinemas. No wonder it took the director/producer 15 years to make this movie. It shows where the movie industry is now at when it comes to cinematography while delving into moral and social issues.

Inglourious Basterds - I'm not a fan of Brad Pitt, mind you. It's just that this flick is so reminiscent of Kill Bill which is my all-time favorite action movie. Well it was directed by the same person. But nevertheless, from the storyline to the acting part, this movie is stellar.

500 Days of Summer - I actually regret turning down Henzen's invitation to watch this movie in theatres. It's a breath of fresh air. This one stands as a great love story that didn't have to conform to the rather conventional and boring way of selling a romantic film. I love it.

Transformers 2 - I know, I know. What is to like with a bunch of castrated robots fighting? But I beg to differ. Though there are several flaws in the movie and the storyline, this is one of the few ones which made me clap my hand involuntarily when it finished. Say what you want with the stupid story, but you can't say anything to the special effects and cinematography.

2. GADGET

Sony Ericsson C905

I have every reason to feel guilty about having this phone. I practically stretched my limits as a son when I convinced my parents to buy me this one. But after a few months, I got the hang of it. I can actually make myself happy within 10 seconds by reminding myself that I have a phone that can access wi-fi and has an 8.1 megapixel camera. Life is good indeed with this at hand.

Runner Ups

iTouch - It's still in this list for it's only this year when I finally utilized its gaming function. I got my iTouch jailbreaked a few months ago and now I have around 50 games and applications.

Sony Ericsson SATIO - This beauty is here because I don't have it. It's actually on my birthday wishlist. I told myself that I can't push my parents and ask them for this, and I actually convinced myself not to. But you know what, I don't know how much long I can keep my mouth shut about this when whenever I go to the mall, it seems to always invite and seduce me with its 12.1 megapixel camera and huge HD touch screen. Whew!

Sony Ericsson C902 - Though madali akong nagsawa sa kaniya, this model is still dear to me. I actually can't believe that I didn't want to settle for this phone given it's good specs. I sometimes wish that I'm not much of a materialistic and techie whore.

Nike Vapor Earphone - Love the bass of this earphone. You can never truly appreciate good music without a pair of good earphones. Now there are a lot of wicked earphones out there, ranging from Php 3000 to Php 19000. But this one only costs Php1500. That's quite the bargain given its performance.

3. SONG

Hometown Glory by Adele

After watching Adele perform this song live on Youtube, I finally understood what the briton meant about her music being "broken-hearted soul". Her way of singing and voice is so haunting but at the same time not far-fetched from the genre that the likes Amy and Alicia are into. I'm crazy about this song and the way Adele sang this one. I can only think of the word magical whenever I try to describe it.

Runner Ups

Thinking of You by Katy Perry - I have a soft spot for heart-felt ballads and I was blown away when Katy Perry released this single. "You're like an Indian summer in the middle of the winter, Like a hard candy with a surprise center". Whoever wrote this song is a genius.

I Told You So by Carrie Underwood - I knew that this song would be a year-long favorite of mine when Carrie performed it at American Idol. You've got to hear this song yourself to understand the way I describe it as gut-wreching and classically heart-breaking.

Crazier by Taylor Swift - I've been a fan of Taylor Swift since second year college and when she wasn't that famous yet. She's quite consistent in releasing great singles like "Teardrops on my Guitar" and "Our Song". Though I like "Love Story", it took her some time to release great record like "Crazier". The song is weird in a good way. The lyrics are childish and so out there but the melody and the way Taylor sang it is so infectious.. I've been singing this song when I'm in the shower for months.

Look After You by The Fray - The Fray is the only rock band that I can think of that doesn't have a bad single under their belt. From "You Found Me" and "Never Say Never", the guys are just consistent. "Look After You" is the best love song that I've heard in a while.

4.BOOKS

Percy Jackson and the Olympians Series (5 Volumes)

Months ago I was a nerdy-wannabe on the edge of being a complete bookworm, and now I am. I have this series by Rick Riordan to thank for making me appreciate young adult novels. Naubos ang allowance ko ng isang buwan dahil dito. I always beam with joy whenever I purchase a volume of this series at Power Books. I'm actually planning to submit a review of the series for our next year's issue of Lamp. And what excites me more is that it's movie version will be screened in February! Here's hoping that they don't messed with this book.

Runner Ups

Waiting by Ha Jin: On the surface, it's about two adults who waited for 18 years to have sex. That could have been disastrous and narrow except that the story took place in China during Mao's rule and was executed with Ha Jin's commanding authority in literary. I don't know much about love, but if its what is depicted in this novel, then screw it.

Fablehaven by Brandon Mull (3 volumes): I told you I'm bitten by the young adult book bug, if there's such a thing. True that it's about fairies and giant frogs, but the story can make you read like a mad man. I finished the latest installment overnight.

Memories of my Melancholy Whores by Gabriel Marquez: I have to admit that the weird title was the one that made me buy it. I'm happy I did. Actually if books are as good as this one, they should be given real catchy and more profane titles. Anything to make them stand out. For this latest creation by Marquez is no short of a masterpiece.

5. CLOTHING LINE

Folded and Hung

My best friend Badeth would laugh at me. Because the girl is rich, she has gotten to this hobby of insulting brands like Bench, Penshoppe and Human. She even remarked "yuck" when I told her that my favorite clothing line is F&H. Well what can I do? Folded's the only boutique that showcases a wide variety of great designs at a reasonable price. I do know that the brand is somewhat overrated, but I really can't help buying a shirt or two every now and then.

Runner Ups

Top Man - I'm crazy over the shirt that I bought at this shop a month ago. I keep finding a way to wear it everytime I go out. One thing that I've noticed with the different branches of Top Man is that it really, really caters to gay customers. From the gayish colors and designs of the clothes to the hot salesclerks, I mean come on. Ganun na ba talaga kami kadami at kailangan may sarili na kaming clothing line?

Zara - Though I only have one shirt from this shop (mahal kasi. hayy), it's already a fave of mine. I like how they can go from studded rock and roll shirts to simple preppy tees. There's something for everybody.

Banana Republic - My good mother sent me a package with four Banana Republic long sleeves last summer. I would never dare to enter the shop (there's only one branch here in the Philippines and it's in Greenbelt) for the prices of the clothes are unthinkable. But I always find a way to pass by and moon over the clothes. Grabe, kelan ba ako yayaman?

6. GUILTY PLEASURES

Kipling

I didn't care about brands which products will make your wallet weep until I discovered Kipling. From the bags (which are mostly feminine) down to the wallets the brand really has bitten me. I always drag my classmates and friends to a branch whenever we come across one. I'm trying to collect as many items as I can from the brand while I'm still a student with a monthly allowance. I don't think I'll be that willing to spend two thousand from my hard-earned salary on a single wallet.

Runner Ups:

Egg Tart (Bread Talk)

What frustrates me is that most of the time, the people at Bread Talk seldom serve this one. That's why even if I'm not hungry, I rush to buy some whenever it's available. Here's hoping that they serve this piece of heaven more often this year.

Cheese and Garlic Potato

I always order this one whenever I dine at Kenny Rogers. The branch that they have at Robinsons Malate is now my official tambayan. It's quite a peaceful place to read my books and magazines.

Baked Potatoes (Wendy's)

Add my lifestyle of being a couch potato to my obsession of actual potatoes. Garlic potato, fried potatoes, mojos, potato salad, mashed potato; you name it. This baked potato from Wendy's is a hardcore fave of mine. It just sucks that like egg tart, it's seldom served.

7. CLUB

Bed Malate

I tell you, it's the queen of them all. Club Government used to be my favorite bar because of the music they play but Bed pretty much makes up for the often times boring music with the kind of crowd that they welcome and please. I've never been so self-conscious and nervous before when my good friend Henzen first brought me there. I can't believe at first that a bona fide red light district bar like it exist. I love it and I long to go back.

Runner Ups

Chelu

Though Bed is the top gay destination, Chelu is my favorite one. There was a time when I partied there for eight consecutive weeks. Though the place is small and humble, the same thing can't be said with the people. I love how they can just drop the pick-up line and just say and do what they want. That's how gay bars differ from the straight clubs. People in the latter just don't have the guts and balls.

Manor

I consider my friend Kim's birthday on Club Manor the best party I've ever been with. The food and drinks keep on flooding in that I was way drunk before my time. Not to mention that people like Sam Milby and the guys from PBB also party there.

Guilly's

It's still alive. Hehehe. It's always a pleasure to party at Guilly's. Though they never do something about the small dancefloor, the music they play is always new.

8. ROTATION

Medical City

The place is wickedly cool. It's the only hospital that I've been in that really follows strict precautionary measures and protocols. My group was assigned at the Surgery Suite and we had a hell of a good time with all the unique procedures we've observed. Kaya lang namulubi ako dito. Ang mahal ng mga pagakin sa food court eh.

Runner Ups

FEU-NRMC

It took my group two semesters to be assigned at our own Hospital but it was worth the wait. Some of my groupmates and I stayed at Thomas' (who's now dead) home at fairview to save money. We get to cook our own food, do movie marathons and swim at the house's pool. How cool is that?

Somewhere in Taguig

I kinda forgot the name of the hospital. What made this rotation memorable is that we're assigned at the ER. Now a lot of ugly things happen there but it's better than sitting at a ward waiting for the clock to turn to do vital signs.

9. PEOPLE

Nenette

It's weird because I said "favorite things". I had no prior intention of adding this category but I can't finish this year-ender post without mentioning some of my notable friends. And all of them are winners, there's no runner ups. Now to start with my long-time BFF, gragraduate na tayong dalawa. Can you imagine that? The first time we met we were planting crops in our school garden for our TLE. Now we're about to enter the real world. It's scary, but what makes me comfortable is the complete faith that when I look beside me, there you'll be. May we have more booze and gay-ish pleasures to share my friend.

Camille

Bes pano ba yan. Naunahan pa kita grumaduate. Hehehe. I may come out as someone who's far from being appreciative but know this and know it to be true. I I find happiness that with all the people coming in and out of my life, you manages to stay. I have the tendency to push other people away, you know that. And I appreciate that you didn't allow me. Thank you so much for being a true friend. You'll always have me on the line, don't forget that.

Henzen

Ever since high school, I only name three persons as my best friends. Now after four years into college, you're one of them. I never thought that we'd be really this close since I always notice you giving me "the look" when we were classmates. I've said it and I'll say it again. I could actually trade whatever it is that I've achieved by being with Lamp, but the opportunity that it presented for us to be friends? That I won't. Maraming salamat Henzen! Huwag mo na akong aagawan ulit ha?

Badeth

I've thought of you before as the least likely person that I'll be good friends with. We're just the complete opposite. I find it worrisome that as we go out together, my personality is starting to morph in like of yours. I think that our groupmates notice it and it made me a little bit uncomfortable until I noticed that there's actually nothing wrong with it. Thank you for keeping me grounded. Thank you for teaching me to be brave and outspoken. Sana yumaman talaga tayo. Hehehe.

Kates

Mommy Kates! Thank you for always opening your home for me. Hehe. It seems to me that you're the person who always look forward for my visits. I promise that they will be more frequent. Like Nenette, we've come a long way too. I hope that you find your way around the problems you are now dealing with. And thank you for the drinks you mixed for us! You're tur ning to a great bartender. I love you and see you this march.

XOXO

Jerome

My Birthday Wishlist

I remember that back when I was in grade school, I've always wondered how and what I will be when I reach the age of my older siblings. I've always admired them, for they seemed to have a definite idea on what they want to do with their life. My sister got pregnant at an early age while my eldest brother started a family of his own when he was 18. During that time people seemed to be mature and at the same time aggressive with their decisions in life.

A decade later, I find myself now facing a monitor after watching Sorority Rows with my friends. I don't have a boyfriend, no one got pregnant and I think I'm putting enough efforts in my study to keep my future on track. A lot could be said when it comes to my maturity, but still, even though I've made a lot of mistakes, I wouldn't have my life any other way.

I'm turning 21, and those two digits are scaring me. There are so many things that I want to accomplish. I want to have a good-paying job after graduation. I want to practice nursing. I want to study Sociology. I want to go straight to Japan to earn money fast. I want to get to New York and work there as soon as possible.

For the past years, those plans and dreams have stayed on the back of my head. Now, they're slowly surfacing. The pressures of being gay and being the youngest child is wearing me down. But I won't be made useless by these. I have trouble deciding on my priorities, but I guess having a lot of things to choose from is better than having nothing to decide on.

Now I just want to bury that worrisome side of me and just celebrate on my being materialistic. Hehehe. Out of the five wishes that I had last year, 4 of them came true. You can't blame me, really. I gave all of my wishes a year to be fulfilled. But now, I'm kinda optimistic on my wishes.

1. Kipling Wallet

How much it cost: Php 3000

How I intend to get it: My next sweldo in our group's paluwagan. But having it as a gift will be very nice.

Why I want it: Thanks to my bona fide shopaholic friend Badeth, I was ingested to a world where eyes only favor products that are branded. The little monkey toy that hangs on every product of Kipling is slowly becoming an obsession of mine. Whenever I come across a Kipling boutique, I would really swallow my pride (it's a shop for women) and browse on items. I don't know but it always makes me happy and alive (that was so gay), like what the egg tart and smart alec at Breadtalk do. I managed to convince my father to buy me a Kipling shoulder bag and I'm so at ease whenever I wear it at school. I lost my wallet last summer and since then I only have my two pockets to rely on. Damn, I always get a deduction in my NCM classes because I always forget to bring my 1x1 ID pic. Having a wallet will help me become more organized. I have high hopes for this one.

2. Kipling Reading Glass

How Much it Cost: Php 4200

How I intend to get it: My savings, for I think it's kinda weird to have a reading glass as a birthday present.

Why I want it: It's not because I want to look smart or something. My hobby of reading novels has taken it's toll on my "almond eyes" (with reference to my guru Lowell Silang). I'd rather carry one everyday than wear contacts. And it wouldn't hurt at all if it's Kipling. Really, it wouldn't hurt at all.

3. Regine Velasquez Memorabilia

How Much it Costs: ???

How I intend to get it: I'll start collecting CD's and posters next month. I'll give it year I guess.

Why I want it: I will always be a Reginian in heart. I realize this when she launched her Reigne/Songbird Perfume under Bench. It's been a long time since I've been updated about her so I got very excited when I saw her billboard for the perfume. I even dragged my classmates at Bench just to test them.

I've been a fan of Regine since grade 5. Since there were no iPods and Limewire during that time, I always turn our radio on every morning and wait for her songs to be played. I would even lock myself in during Sundays just to watch her sing in SOP. I can even remember myself as this obsessed fan who always defend her whenever his classmates say bad things about her. Heck, I've seen all her movies and practically memorized most of her songs. So it's quite fitting for me to immortalize somone who influenced my taste in music. Top in my priorities are the following:

a. Songbird Sings the Classics (CD, I've lost my copy of it back in high school)

b. Reigne (CD, It's the last album she released where all songs are original. I'm looking for the limited edition)

c. R2K (CD, It's her most successful album. Lost this one too.)

d. Covers Volume 1 and 2 (CD, Hindi na kasi gumagana yung copy ko nito. Hehe)

4. Sony Ericsson SATIO

How much it costs: Php 40,000+

How I intend to get it: I'll sell my phone and iTouch. Maski katawan ko ibebenta ko mawahakan ko lang to. Hahaha.

Why I want it: I'm a techie whore. There, I've said it na. I don't think that there's any gadget out there, espcially products from Sony Ericsson and Apple, that I don't know of. What I found funny is that when I bought my new phone, I didn't need any information about the cellphones. I know them by heart. From their megapixels down to their specs, I kow them. I could even make any salesclerk from Sony Ericsson a run for their money.

It's friggin 12.1 megapixel. If that won't make you stretch your allowance and join every paluwagan, then I don't know what will. Aside from the fact that it boasts a wide array of features that are somehwat similar to that of iPhone, critics are already branding this one as the first real "iPhone Killer" since Samsung's OMNIA. Its touch screen makes this phone a perfect substitute for any camera, for you can focus on any image with just a click.

I'm kinda nervous putting it here on my wishlist. I'm really starting to dream that I'll somehow lay my hands on it the moment it's released this October.

5. Boyfriend

How much it cost: I sure wish that I don't have to pay to have one.

How I intend to get it: I don't know, but I guess loosing weight is one. Finding a way to stop my hairline from receding also sounds good. Injecting endorphins (for Sir Rueda said kulang daw ako nito) to make myself look younger? Could be. But definitely not Malate!

Why I want it: I could really forgive if he only bears a slight resemblance with Brandon Routh.

I accomplished my "Ultimate Goal" last May so I'm on to my next step: put myself in a stable relationship. I think that this is the first time that I have to admit that I want someone special in my life. Notice how I used the word "want" instead of "need". I think I've been with myself long enough. I want to experience how it is to be in another person's warm embrace again.

I hope that my 2-year streak of fulfilling my wishes continue this year, especially with this one. Ako na lang ata ang bakla na nagsisine sa Rob Malate na ang kasama ay hindi boyfriend! Kaloka no.

Intolerance

There's nothing that I loath more than people who try to shove their beliefs down your throat like they are the only acceptable ones. I like to think that I live in a world that is open to the concepts of diversity, relativity and freedom. The reason why I hate homophobes is not merely because they practically abhor the likes of me, but because they rather slack off the rest of their lives beeing spoon fed with collective beliefs and perceptions rather than take their own initiative in knowing the truth.

These past few days, I've had several encounters with this person they call Kuya Kevin. I always tell myself that whenever I meet a full blown homophobe, I should give myself a tap in the shoulder, for I believe that they are on the brink of extinction. Anygays, he is definitely the embodiment of homophobia, his rants and choice of words when he commented on my article about homosexuals in Tamarawbayan.com pretty much stated where he stands. I couldn't care less about what he said or what he thinks, but it's just that whenever I come across him, I couldn't help myself from being overtly disgusted and rude. And that's not because I find his often religious beliefs wrong, it's because he cannot find it within him to exert even a little effort in understanding others. He just logged in and judge the existence and morality of homosexuals like he had travelled around the world and had learned everything about us. The arrogance that he displayed when he made his beliefs known definitely flared me up.

"I know that I know not". If one of the most well known philosopher in history can admit that he is devoid of knowledge, why can't we? I'm not saying that we must go out there and act stupid. It's just that I observe that, sometimes, as people become more philosophical, the more indifferent and rude they become. They act as though they know everything that they become so tense and aggressive in expressing their philosophies, all the while ridiculing and belittling that of the others.

Though I admit that I have a rather vague stand when it comes to the existence of God, I don't go out there and insult the beliefs of people who follow Him. I wouldn't be able to look myself if I do that for I wouldn't be any different from the homophobes that I vowed to fight. I don't think that you can fight something by using the manner in which it is fueled. You can't fight evil with injustice and violence. You can't fight discrimination with crimes and indifference. And you can't fight hate with hate.

I still pray with my friends and classmates. I still kneel with them at church and I even volounteered to lead an opening prayer for our seminar. If I am asked by muslims to come to their mosque and pay respect to Allah, I wouldn't hesitate. I don't think that this makes me a hypocrite. I am committed to being an example to my likes; that even though most people discriminate and hate us, I can still find a reason to love and respect them despite our differences.

Though I admit that it might be contrary to what I've been saying about acknowleding diversity and differences, I can't help but think of how wonderful the world can be if everybody can do the same.

XOXO

Jerome

Tears for Water

This post might come out as a boring cliche since everybody is talking about it, but what the heck. The sloth fiend in me took over and I wasn't able to even get a glimpse of Cory's funeral procession, so this post is the least thing I can do to pay respect to someone who for the past days have unearthed a sense of nationalism in me that I never thought existed.

I'm not really the kind of person who believe in things easily, especially if they were channelled through the media. Yet, I absorbed every bit of embellishments and stories that the family and friends of Cory have stated about her.

There's this nun who was given the privelege to speak in the necrological ceremony that came to face the crowd with unparallelled courage when she said that Cory's hands were never tainted with the gold and silver of corruption. In other situations I would find that statement blasphemous, for I think that corruption unexplainably runs deep within EVERY politician in our country. It's like they belong to this certain discipline devoted in taking things that doesn't belong to them.

But with Cory, every vein and artery of my black heart mellowed and melted. And I'm not ashamed to admit that it's mainly because of the people who came to show their love and respect. This pretty much built the image of a woman who through her simple faith, humility, integrity and selflessness has commanded the attention and love of many people. I don't think that many people can do that. It's like she reached the end while soaring at heights where some people can only dream of being at; with self-actualization undoubtly under her belt.

The last time that a woman (and I'm not being a sexist. it's just that woman power attracts me more) caught my undivided attention was when Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. She was a daughter of a former president of Pakistan who after years of being in exile returned to her country to bring back hope to her people. She did this with the absolute knowledge (as shown in her interview) that she will probably be killed, given the situation in Pakistan. Nevertheless she came, for as she said, it's her duty to her people and her promise to God. Her journey to Allah's arms was shortened when she was shot in the head during a presidential campaign.

Before I was like, why do everybody think that being killed is synonymous to dying for a country and a cause? I don't think that you have to die in order to prove your worth and stand. But with Benazhir, I'm starting to understand that life, as precious as it is, will never be a fulfilling one if it's filled with visions, mission and ideologies that never saw fruition because we are hindered with fear.

The same rings true with Cory. I've herad numerously for the past days that she is the mother of democracy, but that title still does not fail in sending chills down my spine.

What if she never came to our country's aid? What if she chose to be silenced by the death of her beloved husband? What if she allowed fear to settle in and succumb to the numerous threats that were bugging her? What would have happened to our country and what would have happened to us?

I don't know the answer (but I know I wouldn't have been born) but I know the light of nationalism and radicality that have fueled our populace in their continous fight for our country will remain as an idea up to now. Every Filipino that was born for the past decade would have been collared at birth and made to follow rules and live a life that was only directed at making the coffers of a certain dictator flourish.

For that, Tita Cory, thank you. You don't know me and I can't say that I know you, but even though it's like that, the ripples of the well-lived life that you had reached everybody including me. I'm not gonna pray for you, for as a friend of yours say, it is you who we should pray at for our country, for you are now among the Blessed.

XOXO

Jerome

The Nature of Beauty

A month ago, I found myself on an uncomfortable receiving end with my professor in Humanities as what should've been a simple recitation turned into a debate. Humanities is a minor subject (I still can't get over the fact that they didn't offer Humanities and Rizal when we were in AHSE) so my classmates and I don't take it that seriously when we attend. But it's for the same reason that I told myself that I have to excel at the subject, for I'd be damned if it will be the one which will drag my GWA to the drain.

So we were given our first assignment. Our professor asked us to search for a definition of art and be able to explain it in our own words. I was kinda nervous the next day for he seems very discontented with the answers of my classmates. It seemed to me that boring a hole on people's head to make them understand and believe that they're the stupid ones and he's the smart one is an essential part of his everyday life. I can't blame him, really. He's a Graduate in Liberal Arts, Major in Philosophy and he'll lose his mind if he'll end up being debunked by students who do nothing but take vital signs and interview patients.

He was even at the verge of being arrogant when he started boasting his degree and belittling the one we're pursuing. He gave us this article entitled "Shakespeare or Petroleum" which pretty much sizes up art and science. He then told us that we study for practical reasons, while people like him does it to be "liberated" (that made me laugh, looking at him). He said that science is about boring, objective facts while art is for the pursue of truth. He went on and on that we told him that we will shift courses right away.

My turn finally came. I can vaguely recall my own definition, it goes like this:

"If art is a subject that affects beauty, and that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and therefore is very subjective, then I'd say that art is the expression of feelings, emotions, principles and ideas in such fashion that it is open to the interpretation of other people."

I sighed a breath of relief when he stayed sitting without saying anything quiet. But as I move to take my seat, he told me if I he can ask me a question. I said yes, and he asked me if I really believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I take the saying as a cliche, but nevertheless it is true in every sense, so I said yes. He then asked me a question that made my soul leave it's body: what if the person is blind?

I literally turned at my classmate and muttered: What the fuck? I was really dumbfounded but I was able to gather my senses (for the sake of my sinful pride) and said that beauty can't only be appreciated through sight. He said that I didn't get his point; he was asking what this: what if the person is uneducated? He then said that it renders the person's idea of beauty invalid. Beauty therefore, according to him, is objective.

I was actually pissed. I found myself on auto-pilot as I stood several times to counter his ideas. I told him that there is no concrete standards and norms that defines the nature of beauty. No matter how hard a famous artist worked on a painting or how something is made from silver or gold means nothing if it will translate as insignificant to the perceptions of other people. He then said that if that's so, if beauty is really in the eye of the beholder, then why do we have a general conformity to what is beautiful?

I told him that we have a general conformity to what is beautiful because of our collective perception. I cited as an example that a typical person's idea of a beautiful woman is someone who is tall, fair skinned and curvy. When people who have the same perception come together (like in a society), the tendency is that their perception will become dominant and will make that of other people seemingly wrong. But it is a fuckery, for we will be committing a certain fallacy if we will be leaning on a certain idea just because more people believe and agrees with it.

He continued talking about his ideas for the next hour and even at the next meeting. But I really didn't care. I didn't even listen. Not because I'm not open to the ideas of other people. No. It's because his idea is parallel to that of conforming to what society sees fit and normal. And there's nothing more that I hate than that.

What will the world be if even the little things like beauty will be defined by a specific law? What is the essence of us being rational if we will be collared at birth and made to follow what society sees as fit and righteous? I'm no graduate in arts, but I believe that having a standard to what is beautiful and not will make Picasso and Modigliani rise from their graves to strangle whoever said it.

Whether it's Mona Lisa or The Girl with the Pearl Earring, artworks will stand as bland as an empty canvass if it will not stimulate a feeling of admiration and establish an emotional connection with a person. That itself is subjective, for nobody experienced the same thing in life; the things that pull an emotional string in people varies widely. People will call an artwork beautiful, some will not, and you can't force those people to change their minds because your idea of beauty is shared by a specific majority. You can't do that. It's like offering people in a restaurant a meal that they did not order. It's no different from giving them shit on a platter.

And I was definitely taken aback by the notion of uneducated people having an invalid perception of beauty. I don't think that you have to be able to see half of the world for something to be beautiful in your eyes, and without someone taking that idea of yours away. I sometimes even envy those people who knew little, for even the simplest things in life can bring joy to them while others turn crazy searching the world for complex things that they think will make their lives beautiful.

This is taking too long, when I can make it short. So here it goes:

"There's nothing more evil in this world than the poison of collective perception that is settling deep within most of us. It takes away our freedom, our rationality and our individuality. It turns us to machine that mimics the lives of other people, when we should be pursuing ours. And worst, it builds walls that hinder us from understanding people whose outlook in life differs from our own."

It's a struggle for I have to sit at his class for a few more months. But I'm an advocate and a fighter of my own cause, so it will be interesting.

XOXO

Jerome

Of Love, Hate and Healing

It's been like ages since my last blog post, and I almost forgot how to start one without boring a hole in my own head. What can I say? It's been quite a roller coaster of weeks. What I find ironic is that even though my environment has changed drastically, what I feel inside is still the same. I still feel like floating whenever I get out of my bed. I still end up daydreaming my days through. I couldn't even take a grasp on my friggin life and try to make it exciting and productive. It's still the same uncaring, lazy and obnoxious man that I see in the mirror. (Thanks for making that expression seem overused MJ, sucks for me.)

But that doesn't suggest that I'm not thankful and happy with all the happenings in my dear life. No, No, No. I realized that as you go on with your seemingly monotonous life of waking up early, taking a shower, going to school, coming home, sleeping and waking up again, it's quite hard to take a breather and try to digest what happened in your day. That's one habit that I find difficult to break. I always tell myself that at the end of the day I should find time to recall what happened and be thankful even if nothing special occured. Instead, I end up shrugging the notion off and just sleep, thinking that I'm over-analyzing things and being too serious with my life.

Having said that, how do people who are so carefree and with no worries survive? That question came up to me when a classmate of mine said that people are too keen on becoming idealistic, forgetting that their ideas, no matter how great they are, can't be applied in real life. "Puro kayo idealismo," that classmate of mine even said.

I was seriously strucked by that statement that I found myself not wanting to talk to her. It's just that I'm reminded of "a particular event" wherein my rationality and ideas drowned when I'm confronted with a taste of reality. Napaisip tuloy ako. What's the sense of trying to become more philosophical if you can't apply it in your life? What's the point of me spending time to celebrate idealism in my page when whenever I'm out there, I'm quite the opposite? That question has been bugging me since "it" happened that I can't even bear the sight of my Paulo Coelho novels in my bookshelf.

I don't have any answer for that question yet. I still believe that one must find time and ask themself the question why and stray from conforming to beliefs and standards they haven't analyzed. But I also acknowledge the fact that out there, with everyone seemingly doing the same thing, it's easy to just go with the flow and blend with them. How you can link the world of ideas to the world of reality is definitely the catch and the one that I'm trying hard to do now.

Well let's put all of those aside. I have a bigger fish to fry (damn, why do keep using cliches?).

The first half of this year is enough to dwarf any previous year that I had. Well, maybe not that much. It's just that so many things have happened that I always feel like the days and months are dragging me slowly. But no matter how special those things are (sorry but I can only hint on such things. let's try to respect the lives and silence of others), I realized that they are of the same thing. And I'm tired. Really tired. And I'm ready too; ready to turn a new page (the cliches keep on coming) of my life.

During the course of the past months, I've been listening to the same, sad old songs. It might come out as funny or weird (what is weird but a word that we use to describe something or someone that we don't have the capability to understand?), but I kinda incorporated too much of myself in them. Music is that dear to me, for I never, never leave our house without my iTouch. Now, I'm deleting them on my playlist, for I don't want to be reminded of the same, sad old feelings. Masaya na ulit ako ngayon. Nevertheless, they brought me to this state of euphoria, so I'm immortalizing them here on my tiny humble space.

BTW, I surprised myself in everyway possible. Napaligaya ko ang sarili ko ngayon. These songs are also about those little steps of mine. Hehehe.

Chasing Pavements ("I'd build myself up and fly around and circles waiting as my heart drops, and my back begins to tingle."): Wow. Salute ako sa track na to dahil kahit kailan hindi ako nagsawang pakinggan siya.

I Need to be Next to You ("Pretending I was better off alone, but I know that it's just a lie"): This song pretty much summarizes everything. Too bad I won't be listening to it anymore.

Sometimes I Wake Up Crying ("I can't find a reason to let go, even though you've found a new love, and it's what your dreams are made of"): I have to give myself a tap in the shoulder for finding this track. Talagang gusto akong maging bitter ng Limewire.

Halo ("Remember those walls I built? Well baby they're tumbling down.") I was a fan of this song months before it became so popular. Feeling ko tuloy ninakawan nila ako ng kanta. Hehehe.

Make You Feel My Love ("I've known it from the moment that we met. No doubt it my mind where you belong") Haunting and heartbreaking. Eto talaga ang mga tipo ng kanta na hindi pinapakinggan.

Goodbye My Lover ("You can't break my spirit, it's my dreams you take") Listening ot this years ago made me cry even though I've no experience. Imagine how I reacted when I remembered this song some months ago.

Unbeautiful ("Was it something that I said? Was it something that I did? Coz I gotta know what made me unbeautiful") This is one heck of a bitter song. Hardcore kung hardcore. Bitter kung bitter.

Rain on Your Parade (I'll keep raining over you): I'm exhausted na eh. Hehehe. Gusto ko na lang ng tahimik na buhay.

I Told You So ("Suppose I call you up tonight and tell you that I love you?"): Isa rin to. I'm starting to believe that these sad songs don't help you in feeling better.

Dancing (No need for anything but music, music's the reason why): This song is gonna be the hardest to remove. Hehe. It's definitely one of the most beautifully sang ballads that I've ever heard.

The Waves ("I'll watch the moon, and the stars. And tell them everything about us") emo + vitriol = the waves by elisa. Yun lang ang masasabi ko. Hehehe.

If This Isn't Love (I could be dreaming or just playing crazy): It's good thing that I'm neither. I really felt something. Hehehe.

Take A Bow (Make them laugh, it comes so easy when you get to the part when you're breaking my heart): It's the one by Madonna. Ewan pero parang ginawa ang kanta na to para sa isang napakaspecific na tao.

XOXO

Jerome

P.S.

I'M BACK. NOW, LET'S GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO WIGGLE ABOUT.

The 8 Phases of Relationships (from How I Met Your Mother)

Yes, yes, yes. Instead of spending my two weeks vacation in Bicol enjoying the beach and drinking my heart out with my high school friends, here I am stuck in my room watching the seemingly endless seasons of How I Met Your Mother. Not that I abhor this though. It's just that given the fact that I've spent the summer of last year all locked up in my room with tons of DVD, I kinda hoped that it would be different this year.

Anyways, have I mentioned that of all the TV series that I've seen, I consider Will and Grace the best? I love that show. All the puns and the characters never grow old on me. I was actually devastated when I was watching its last season for I know that I'll never get to watch a series like it.

Then How I Met Your Mother came. It's nothing like Will and Grace but its definitely one of the better series that I've watched. I can so relate with the life of being single that was so emphasized in it. And it doesn't hurt at all that Ted Mosby was pretty hot. Hehehe.

I was boring a hole in my bed watching its third season when they got to this very interesting episode. Ted was discussing this date of his when Barney (the show's hilarious antagonist) barged in and said that he's making the biggest mistake of his life by trying to build a serious relationship again. Barney went on ranting about how predictable people are when it comes to being in a relationship so much that he was able to narrow down everything that happens in it in 8 phases.

I find these pahses very amusing and relatable. I kinda got a hang of it so I'll share my very recent and personal experience and take on each of the phases. Don't get too hopeful andf excited though. Hindi naman naging kami nor we ever came close to that. But its the closest thing to a relationship that I ever had in years, so I'll break a leg.

Just so you know, I have no feelings for the guy now. I find it saddening, for I know that he's special. Now I don't care about him anymore. Tsk tsk tsk.

And as always, though I might mention the existence of other people in my blog, my domain and everything there is to it is all about me as well.

1. Attraction

This phase often, though not necessarily, occurs when you get to see a person of interest the first time. You may feel on the first or second glance, when you realized that indeed there's something special with the person that's worth looking into and investigating about.

I was attracted to this guy when I read this article of his. During that time I already knew he was trouble but it didn't stopped me from finding ways to know things about him. The attraction that I had with the guy just keeps going stronger as I read and know more about him. Funny for when we talk about 'attraction' we immediately think about how the person looks and carry himself. I actually didn't find him physically attractive.

2. Bargaining

This is the phase when you realize that the attraction that you felt before is going stronger. Some people indulge and allow their feelings to take over, but most people in a way result to finding excuses to not like the person. They would look for some unattractive qualities about the guy/girl so that they would escape the feeling of entrapment and hoplessness. People in this phase are scared that they are falling deeper and deeper for a person.

What can I say? I'm a classical example for this phase. I was too proud and annoyed that the moments I spend thinking about the guy are becoming long. I started to distant myself from the guy, but it was futile given the fact that he 'was' one of my contact here in multiply. Given that I can't avoid reading his works.

3. Submission

This is when you finally raise the white flag and admit that you're either madly attracted or in love. This is when you stupidly let your guard down and let yourself vulnerable.

Yet this phase for me is the best. I remembered not being able to take it anymore; I was so tired of wanting something and doing nothing about it so I poured all of my emotions to this single text message (it has 6 parts hehehe). And it was very rewarding indeed. Given the fact that I'm gay and non-conventional, that was the bravest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I've done it before in high school but compared to that day it was completely way off the roof.

4. Perks

Just when you thought that you couldn't like the person more even if you try, certain qualities and things about him surface that will make you fall harder. You're getting to know the person better and some of the things that you would learn about him might even exceed your expectations. This is when you truly fall in love and be with the person

I wouldn't say that I fell in love with the guy. But as we texted and I get to communicate all of my feelings with him, I fell for him harder. I found new things about me and him everyday that would make me smile wider and face my everyday with a lighter heart. I was so happy during this phase. It seems that I finally got rid of all my inhibitions; very happy indeed.

5. Tipping Point

This is when things get ugly. Sometimes, knowing things about people don't prove helpful at all. How would you feel when your person of interest chew loudly, has children, smells bad, went to jail before or has imperforate anus?

The tipping point phase started when this guy started showing a bit of attitude. The reason why I don't like bisexuals is that they can be collectively narrowed down to this beings who just can't help but feel that they looks so good and that they're so important that people like me would die when they disappear. I hate egomaniacs.

And the guy I'm talking about turned out to be one, sadly. He started showing this very rude and insensitive attitude of his. I'm not saying that he's all like that, na talagang masama siyang tao, but he chose to show that kind of impression to me. I found that very unfair.

6. Purgatory

Purgatory is that hypothetical place between heaven and hell where people get to be purified of their sins so that they'll prove worthy of being in God's grace. On the other hand, as a phase, it's when you become unsure of where you want to sail the relationship to; either towards its thrive or end. You'd end up being confused for you still like the person, but you can't help this nagging feeling that you're making a huge mistake by staying with him/her.

I stayed in this phase too long. He was no good, I knew that. But what can I do? I've never felt that kind of emotion for a long time. I ended going back and forth with liking and hating him. It's the worst thing I ever have to deal with when it comes to other people.

7. Confrontation

It's the "Can we talk?" phase. It's that time when you can't handle all the pain, frustrations and anger anymore. It's the time when you face your partner and talk about where both of you stand in the relationship. This phase is when you and your partner either work your differences or send your relationship to the drain.

It's a shame that I got nothing but a very insulting lie with confronting the guy. I asked him if he's still open to the idea of being serious with me and if he really just consider me as a friend. He said that it's not like I'm only a friend to him, it's just that friendship is all that he can offer to me or to anybody at that time. I could have waited for him. But all of these proved BS the day after when he told the whole world that he wants a boyfriend. How about that for a slap in the face? Hehehe.

8. Fallout

Since when did the word fallout was used as substituite for break-up? Anyways this is it. This is the ugliest part for it's when you lose all rationality and allow your full wide range of emotions to take over. And this is when you finally get to realize how stupid you are for toying with your mind and for liking the person.

I deleted him from my contacts and have destroyed every chances of even having him as a friend. That's all there is to it.

9. Co-existence

Actually there's a 9th phase, though it doesn't occur that often. It's when you finally get over all the ugliness between the two of you and be able to live without causing discomforts to each other. It's when you become open to a healthy, though not intimate, relationship with the person and bury the hatchet that you have.

Me? I don't know. I'm not mad anymore. Nor am I bitter. But I'm not exactly sure if I wanted to be friends with someone who lied to me at my most vulnerable moment and just when I needed him most to tell me the truth. Maybe yes, maybe not. But probably not, for I'll go at great lengths to not have anything to do with him. He's such a huge mistake. . .

Why Am I Sad?

Funny for one would think that with that title, I’ll be posting bulleted reasons on why I’m cheerless. But it’s the exact opposite thing; I’m so clueless on why I can’t end up my day with positive recollections.

With the growing family that I have, quality friendships that I treasure and the good future that I try to reach with the efforts that I put up at present, I still can’t figure why it’s so hard to lie on my bed at night and smile. Instead I sleep with this hope that tomorrow something great will happen that would finally put colours to my monotonous life. Something cool, something awesome; anything at all that would make me say that my life is not wasting away.

Back when I was in first year college, my happiness means going to school prepared, getting high scores in quizzes, being exempted, awing my professors with my ideas and walking home knowing that I save some money doing so. I managed to be positive with everything back then. But now, doing these things just tires me. I mean, why prepare for school when the people around you get by with cheating and writing notes on their desks? Why put up with preparing for recitations when it only amounts to 5% of your grade? And why walk home and think about the little amount of money you’ll save, when you get to spend much with projects, food, clothes and vices?

I remember my high school life in the province. Being in a public school, my days would be spent listening to lectures, making the most of our recess, cleaning our rooms and later on spending what remains of the day eating fishballs with my classmates. When I get home, I’ll turn on my TV or play playstation until my eyes get teary and the need to sleep calls me in. That’s how I was for six consecutive years. I was happy, if not contented, with that kind of life. Now, I can’t believe that I didn’t lose my head during that time. I truly lost my innocence by being here in Manila.

It seems like I lost my love for everything that I’m doing. It’s an effort to pull myself out of bed and make my way to school. It’s an effort to even think of other places to eat other than the one found at the back of Manila Plaza. It’s an effort to say hi to a former classmate of mine. It’s an effort to get a copy of lecture handouts so that you’ll be prepared for the quizzes. Everything requires efforts.

Though companions and little chats still make my day, I just don’t feel complete with these things alone. The things that made me happy the past weeks are when I bought a JanSport bag, I had my cellphone Gmasked, I shopped for clothes, I watched a movie, had a chat with my best friend , partied at Manor and when the LAMP issue which I contributed to finally came out. And I realize that as I get used to them, the happiness that I felt before fades away.

I would love to mention the recent work of my very talented editor, Wende Dancel. She wrote this editorial column entitled “Happiness Found”. In it, she went on emphasizing that we should invest our happiness in things that will not be lost, things that are permanent. I take it that she’s referring to friendships, family and future. But how can I do that? The true friends that I have are back in Bicol. I don’t get to be with my close friends in FEU everyday either. My family? Both of my parents are in Japan while I can’t focus on improving my relationships with my siblings because by the time I get home, I’ll be too tired and sleepy to even mind them. And the future. How can I feel passionate in realizing it given that as I delve in deeper to my course, the more I feel detached to it? How can I put efforts in something that I do not love?

I have to be happy. It’s the only way that anyone can get through with life. So I wrote this list on what I have to do so that I can see to it that that need will be fulfilled.

FAMILY

1. I’m going to log-in everyday at YM so that I’ll get to talk with my father all the time.

2. I’ll see to it that twice a week, I’ll be making calls to my Lola back in Bicol.

3. I’m going to spend at least an hour taking care of my nephews and nieces and talking to my sister whenever I get home.

4. I’ll help my sister with the housework and laundry.

FRIENDS

1. I’ll make sure that I’ll be texting each and every one of them at least once a day.

2. I’ll be very active in YM so that I’ll get to be updated with the happenings in their lives.

3. I’ll be sensitive with their feelings and helpful with their needs.

4. I’ll quite being the backstabbing whore that I am.

FUTURE

1. I’m gonna start studying for the Board Exam this summer.

2. I’ll spare no efforts in making this year’s LAMP issues the best the IN will ever see.

3. I’m going to start reading my Anatomy, Med-Surgical, Pharmacology and Nursing Research books.

4. I’m gonna study, study, study, study.

Myself

1. I’m going to lose weight

2. I’m turning my room into a home that is both inspiring and motivating

3. I will seek different ways of improving myself. (like learning other languages and philiosophies)

4. I’m going to be motivated, and will not lose it.

I just hope that I can commit. Anybody at all, help me. :-)

My LAMP Debut

All I can say is that I'm happy, very happy indeed that a feasible proof that I'm oficially a writer of our Institute had finally surfaced. For the mere thought of being in LAMP is too much for my small brain to comprehend. I need visual stimulations to convince me.

Anyway I'm just glad that it finally came out. I was worried that I'll never get my hands on it. The 2nd issue of LAMP for school year 2008-09 was distributed the same time our grade slips were handed out. And I'm proud to say that I'm one of the moving force behind it. When I say moving, I mean literally moving boxes that contain 400 copies of the issue on my shoulder from room to room.

Gosh I remember being so exhausted that day that I decided to just bail out in helping my peers (wow peers talaga. kafal!) .I was so hungry and bathing on my own sweat, not to mention that I have no one to talk to. It's just that the people there can be a bit intimidating, especially the 4th year edboards. I just decided to focus on my work like they never existed.

I was fortunate enough to be entrusted in writing two articles. The first one was about how students from other Institutes perceive nursing students. It was very fulfilling. I feel like a true journalist as I approach students to interview them. True that in the end product I'm sharing the spotlight(I'm getting cocky na) with three other writers, but they used my introduction and conclusion. Fair enough. Hehehe.

The second one was about the Victometer. Now it wasn't actually assigned to me. It's just that this writer ended up making a feature instead of a news article for the headline, so one of the editors decided to hand it over to another staff. And that's where I came in. Hehehe. Super papogi points ako sa mga edboards. It's just that given the fact that I'm a newbie, I felt this need to show my commitment. After all, I was accepted to the organization the easiest way possible. I need to prove that in a way I was worth it.

Everything was going fine the day the issue was distributed when I was texted that there was a grave error about the Victometer article. I was in cloud 9 at that time and it just made my whole world turn upside down. The goal of Batch 09 is placing 3 student in the top five, 5 student in the top 10 and a 90% poassing rate. I overlooked it and typed one student in the top 3 instead. How could I have been so stupid? Gosh I hate myself for fucking over my first task! I hate it that I have to learn this lesson the hard way.

Anygays there's no reason to belittle all of my good efforts just because of one mistake. All I can say is that I'm so delighted for the opportunity that I got. I'm getting my articles framed, ganun ako nabaliw nung nakita ko siya. Hehehe. Seriously, I'm getting it framed because there's this huge possibility that I'm gonna leave the organization.

It depends on whether or not I'll prove worthy of being one of the editorial boards. As much as how I love any form of writing, I had always dreamed of having my own editorial column. I don't actually like writing news for it so limit it's writers. I wanted to be able to express my opinion and beliefs openly. I would kill to see that happen. I think it's the reason why I joined LAMP in the first place. I don't think I can learn and grow if I'm just gonna be a senior writer. Saka I don't have friends there. I need to be in a position where hindi ako kukuyugin. Hehehe.

But I think it's impossible. All the odds are working against me. Even if I get a high score in the exam that the edboards are gonna give us, the question of me deserving a spot is still there. I'm a newbie, no background experience in writing ( and that's because Ive only been passionate in writing since second year), does not or did not belong to a pilot class (for they're keen in asking us who belongs or belonged to a pilot class before. hmmm), have no friends (except for Henzen. love you!), and I committed a mistake on my first task! Add to that the adviser of LAMP have not seen me yet. And I bet that the first thing he would say to me when we finally meet is how pity it is for a new member like me to make a mess out of a headline news! I wanna hide na.

I would have just go on and quit LAMP like any sane person would do, but I decided against it. I'm no quitter. I might as well throw myself before a moving LRT like what that girl on TV did than turn my back on an opportunity just because there's a less possibility of winning.

Good luck sa akin. I just hope that I'll end up being in the LAMP. I'm really starting to like it there.

XOXO

Jerome

Wrapping Up the Semester

I might as well cut myself for writing that for a title, for narrowing down everything that happened this past five months is no joke. It's ironic that I felt as though this semester went fast given the fact that so many things have happened. I've said it over a million times already but so many realizations have taken me in. I sure hope that inspirations and new people keep on coming.

I feel like I'm growing fast, though the same thing can't be said with my thinning hair. I hate it! Why of all the attributes that would inherit from my father (love you!), it has to be the friggin hair? I would love to not buy gatsby (and that stands for Gatz and Abby, our new classroom hot couple according to my classmates) just to fix the mess that's sitting on top of my head. Any suggestions guys?

Okay I'll stop fooling around. Time to get way serious for I have to commit for this post for I know it's gonna take me sometime to finish it. I wouldn't want to actually take that long here in the internet cafe (having an internet connection is the only wish from my last years' birthday wishlist that's not yet fulfilled. I badly need it!) for I'm gonna end up paying more. I don't want that now since the days of slothing is over and my allowance is officially cut-off, do I?

Anygays here is it. I decided to number all the happenings this past semester. Now don't be mislead, they're not actually that great and memorable. It's just that my way of writing makes them so. Hehehe. . .

1. I Became a Member of LAMP, our Institute's Official Publication

I bet you didn't see that coming, did you? I was so happy that I was able to actually pull it off. Not that it's hard though. What I'm amazed at is that I actually gave a damn and committed to it. All they asked me to do was to go see all the six editors of LAMP and make them sign my application, a task that all of the editors made easy for me too. I'm probably the last person who would want to be a staffer the easiest way, but what can I do? I was anticipating for them to ask me write an essay but instead they gave me a task that made me wonder if I'm applying for a spot in a reality show.

I realized that I loved being surrounded by intelligent and hardworking people, for they make me feel that I belong. Hahaha! I was kidding. But then seriously, I think I'm gonna learn a lot from this organization, given the fact that the writers are all good. I really hope that I can contribute and help them in anyway.

2. I Laid my Hands on My New iTouch

I sometimes do have the tendency to be materialistic, and for that I apologize. Hahaha! I remember being told that single people tends to be techie. Not that I have a lot of gadgets, but I find it a hobby to be updated with the latest cellphones, mp4 players and video games and platforms. Looking at these gadgets in the magazines and websites makes me happy and makes me forget that I'm single indeed. Hehehe. And occasionally, looking hard and wishing hard on the pictures of these gadgets help on eventually laying my hands on them. This rings true with my 16 GB iTouch!

It was given to me last December 27 when my parents came home from Japan. During that time I still can't get over the fact that the ipod video that I have nourished so well was taken from me during that fateful day in Lawton. So for every call my parents made, I always made a point of hinting them how great this gadget is. And it actually paid off! This gadget is the single reason why I'm riding the LRT on my way to school and back home. I just can't risk it being stolen at gunpoint.

3. I was Assigned to a New Section, and a New Group

I miss being with my previous section last summer and it has nothing to do with me being the mayor, wait, it has something to do with me being the mayor. I just miss being the one people lean in to and the one who organize them. And heck, I feel proud, very proud indeed whenever I recall that section of mine. We were never that kind of students who would boo at our classmates, backstab our teachers, go outcasting others and more importantly, cheat. The person who cheated in my class even ended up facing one of the coordinators. We were that disciplined, and I effin miss it.

Now, I'm posting about my current section, am I? Hmmm. I really don't have to say anything. What I can say is that they are indeed smarter and wittier than my previous section, but that's it. I didn't have the time to actually get to know them. I practically don't even know some of them, even by name. The reshuffling didn't end up in my favor, so I'm now seeking greener pastures, if you know what I mean.

But I can say the exact opposite with my groupmates. I love them. I actually hope that everday is duty day so that we are the only one who would interact with each other. I prepared a message for them in case I get transferred to a new section the way I planned.

Josh: Our tough and smart leader. All I can say to you is learn how to control your emotions, for it sometimes take over you and turn you into whole different person.

Leanne: The January Starty girl! Hehehe! I would definitely miss you, that's if I have my way of transferring to a new section this coming summer. I have to grow, and I know you understand that. Thank you for being such a great and energetic influence.

Badeth: Gosh Badz, super nakatipid ako ngayong semester na to sa araw araw nating pagdayo sa likod ng Manila Plaza. I would definitely miss that. Good luck at maraming salamat sa pagiging tunay na kaibigan.

Kim: Kim! I wish you all the happiness! Gosh ang tagal niyo na ni Harold. I hope that you'd continue being happy with him.

Thomas: Thomas, Thomas, Thomas. All I can say to this person is he has to come out, for his closet reeks of his gayness. I wish I could help the guy, but his reason for keeping his sexuality to himself is inconsistent and invalid. Good luck sa kaniya.

Irish: Our super reliable groupmate. You have to give her props for being punctual and helpful.

Rommel: I just hope that he starts buying himself some food instead of asking for it. Hehehe.

Sara: Partner! Pasensya ka na kung nasigawan kita nung last rotation. Hehehe. I enjoyed being your partner.

Lowell: I really don't have anything to say to this guy, for he surely keeps things to himself.

Abby: To quote Leanne, "Mamamatay ka rin,". Hehehe. Joke lang seatmate! But you have to stop taking pictures of people while they're asleep!

Joy: Salamat sa pagpapahiram mo lagi sa amin ng nailcutter. Hehehe. I hope you continue being the way you are.

4. I Fell In Love

And not once, but twice! I realized that several of my previous posts were about them, and I have to stop. I'm sick, and when I'm not sick, I'm tired. I'm sick and tired of talking about them so they're definitely out of my life. But no trace of bitterness, no room for that. I am happy with all the happiness as well as the fugliness that they had brought in my life, and I'll never have it any other way. I wish them all the best.

5. I Received My Lowest GWA

Note how I used the word received. It's because it felt as though I didn't even worked hard this semester, as if this grade just fell into my lap. FEU, with all the slacking and incompetent professors that they have, dissappointed me big time. I was looking forward for serious and strict lecturers and what I got is a bunch of people who can't even exert an effort to make their voice sound less like a sleeping pill. Some of them don't even come to our class and one uses his handouts to gain money. P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C!

I seriously need to perk things up. And to do this I have to transfer to a new section, preferrably one which no one knows me so I'd end up being a loner. That way I will have no choice but to study.

I will definitely work like there's no tomorrow this semester. I just hope that the coordinators will grant my request.

XOXO

Jerome