I'm Exhausted

I think I kinda pushed my body to the limit this past week. And it's funny because it has nothing to do with me partying or striving to have high scores for my skills and lecture quizzes. Check my previous blog if you're damn clueless.

I was really thrilled when I was informed last week that LAMP, the official publication of the Institute of Nursing, is open for application up to yesterday. Since I love blogging so much coz I find it easy, I kinda underestimated the required editorial and feature articles. I allowed the sloth fiend in me consume what I now regret as essential time that could have been used for me to prepare the articles. So prior to thursday, all I have is a scheduled interview with Mam Guarino.

I waited outside the coordinators office for atleast two hours with my friend Kim before Mam Guarino fnally had the time. And it was a breeze. I was hesitant in choosing her for my feature article for she really doesn't strike me as someone who is filled with personality and humor. I've never been so wrong. I could have made an entire speech with the answers and life lessons that she shared. I even realized that I've been smiling like a fool for the whole time.

The interview lasted for 25 minutes and I was really happy for I know that I'd be nailing that

feature article. But with the damn shit-eating, mind busting twist of cursed luck, I accidentally deleted the entire interview recording. I know!!!!!! I am definitely the most stupid drag out there! Isa akong kahihiyan sa federasyon!

I was so frustrated and stressed. Aside from the fact that I'm gonna do the somewhat narrative form of the interview, I still have to do an editorial. I was at the verge of crying (seriously! I wanted to join LAMP so much!) as I type in what I could vaguely remember from the interview. I was so emotionally drained. I was even pitying myself: "Jerome, writing is what you consider yourself good at and you can't even fucking commit!" I was furnishing some final sentences when my masscom grad brother came to check what I was doing. I already knew from the twitching of her eyes to the narrowing of his lips that I fucked up. And I was definitely in cloud 9 when he said that I had indeed. He then told me that it's simply dead and I have to do something about it. I had no idea what to do but he said one thing that lighten me up: show what you are with your writing and don't try to immitate.

The problem is I really don't have even a fraction of experience in journalism. Yes I've joined some essay writing and I was a representative for my year level at the Pen Power, but nothing prepared me for the required entries. What I hate about journalism is it's damn too formal. I can't stand it. What is the beauty of writing when you can't rant and use words like damn, shit and fag? I find it so hard to be inspired and driven when I am restricted and limited in writing.

So what I did was stick to my true self. Do what I love doing. I'd rather not be accepted than force myself to do something that is so not me. Atleast I'll be happy in the end knowing that I didn't fake it.

So with the little output from the interview that I had, I made a blog entry. Hahaha! I don't have the conscious idea on what I really wrote for it was 2 am when I finished it. For my editorial entry, I wrote about the Proposition 8. It was like magic. When I started typing it, it's like my fingers had the mind of its own. What I failed to do with my feature, I think I succeeded at achieving with my editorial. And I typed it under an hour. I suddenly gained some stamina and momentum that I wrote an additional entry (If I had the time I'm gonna post it here). And I was finished at 5 am so instead of wasting time on a nap, I took a bath and went to school.

And that's not it. We also have to do some filming! The pictures I posted here speaks for iself. Hahaha. We're lucky to come up with something for I already predicted that our output is gonna be disastrous. Anyways good luck sa amin. Hindi ako papasok pag pinalabas na to sa Community Development namin! Waaaaah!