Wednesday, March 18, 2009

-Repost- Dora the Explorer's New Look

Rojo Rojo! Did I spell that right? I'm seriously not a fan, I mean come on. I can almost pull my already thinning hair off my scalp whenever my nephew would insist on changing channels to watch this stuff. But I find Dora cute for she's so, so gay! I'm having this hitch that this nephew of mine is 'the chosen one' in his generation, as I was in mine for he would rant and sing along with Dora whenever she's on.

I'm so surprised when I saw this new image of her! Talk about a major makeover! Unfortunately some people are upset. Here's the entire article from dlisted.com.

Break a Leg:

DORA THE SEXPLORER

"Dora the Explorer got a hold of some illegal Fen-phen, lost a little baby chunk, got some extensions and moved to the big city to pursue her dreams of being the biggest prostitot in the game. Mattel and Nickelodeon released this teaser image of what the new Dora is going to look like. The new whory Dora will make her big debut in the fall. I'm sure her new implants would have healed by then.

The pimps of Dora said they gave her a newer tween look, so that she can grow up with her preschool fans. One of her pimps at Mattel told the NYDN, "Girls really identify with Dora and we knew that girls would love to have their friend Dora grow up with them, and experience the new things that they were going through themselves."

Dora's new foray into skankdom has parents all fucking mad. They think Dora should stay young and innocent, because that's why girls like her ass. One parent said, "If the Dora we knew grew up, she wouldn't be a fashion icon or a shopaholic. She'd develop her map reading skills and imagine the places she could go. It's such a sell out of Dora, of all girls."

I say, whatever to Dora growing up, but she should really go see a doctor. She might have some kind of mutant growth disease, because bitch's head takes up half her body! This is some Elephant Man shit. How is Dora supposed to work the ho stroll if her big ass head keeps causing her to topple over?"

OLD DORA, NEW DORA

"When Mattel announced that they would be giving Dora the Explorer a tween makeover, mobs of parents got crazy assuming they were going to turn her into a ho fo sho. The new Dora wasn't supposed to be unveiled until the fall, but because of all the screamery Mattel released a picture of the all-new Dora.

The new Dora doesn't look like she's ready for the pole yet, but homegirl did pay a visit to the plastic surgeon's office. Bitch got a nose job, lip injections, extensions and highlights. Mattel said the tween Dora isn't wearing make-up, but that shit is full of lies. Dora's got herself some fake eyelashes and lip gloss. Also, her eyes are all sparkly. Is this bitch already on the drugs? I'm thinking E. Those glittery eyes are just begging for a glowstick light show!

How long before tween Dora's slutty MySpace pictures leak?"

I don't know about you guys but I'm loooooving her new look.

XOXO

Jerome

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