Yes, yes, yes. Instead of spending my two weeks vacation in Bicol enjoying the beach and drinking my heart out with my high school friends, here I am stuck in my room watching the seemingly endless seasons of How I Met Your Mother. Not that I abhor this though. It's just that given the fact that I've spent the summer of last year all locked up in my room with tons of DVD, I kinda hoped that it would be different this year.
Anyways, have I mentioned that of all the TV series that I've seen, I consider Will and Grace the best? I love that show. All the puns and the characters never grow old on me. I was actually devastated when I was watching its last season for I know that I'll never get to watch a series like it.
Then How I Met Your Mother came. It's nothing like Will and Grace but its definitely one of the better series that I've watched. I can so relate with the life of being single that was so emphasized in it. And it doesn't hurt at all that Ted Mosby was pretty hot. Hehehe.
I was boring a hole in my bed watching its third season when they got to this very interesting episode. Ted was discussing this date of his when Barney (the show's hilarious antagonist) barged in and said that he's making the biggest mistake of his life by trying to build a serious relationship again. Barney went on ranting about how predictable people are when it comes to being in a relationship so much that he was able to narrow down everything that happens in it in 8 phases.
I find these pahses very amusing and relatable. I kinda got a hang of it so I'll share my very recent and personal experience and take on each of the phases. Don't get too hopeful andf excited though. Hindi naman naging kami nor we ever came close to that. But its the closest thing to a relationship that I ever had in years, so I'll break a leg.
Just so you know, I have no feelings for the guy now. I find it saddening, for I know that he's special. Now I don't care about him anymore. Tsk tsk tsk.
And as always, though I might mention the existence of other people in my blog, my domain and everything there is to it is all about me as well.
1. Attraction
This phase often, though not necessarily, occurs when you get to see a person of interest the first time. You may feel on the first or second glance, when you realized that indeed there's something special with the person that's worth looking into and investigating about.
I was attracted to this guy when I read this article of his. During that time I already knew he was trouble but it didn't stopped me from finding ways to know things about him. The attraction that I had with the guy just keeps going stronger as I read and know more about him. Funny for when we talk about 'attraction' we immediately think about how the person looks and carry himself. I actually didn't find him physically attractive.
2. Bargaining
This is the phase when you realize that the attraction that you felt before is going stronger. Some people indulge and allow their feelings to take over, but most people in a way result to finding excuses to not like the person. They would look for some unattractive qualities about the guy/girl so that they would escape the feeling of entrapment and hoplessness. People in this phase are scared that they are falling deeper and deeper for a person.
What can I say? I'm a classical example for this phase. I was too proud and annoyed that the moments I spend thinking about the guy are becoming long. I started to distant myself from the guy, but it was futile given the fact that he 'was' one of my contact here in multiply. Given that I can't avoid reading his works.
3. Submission
This is when you finally raise the white flag and admit that you're either madly attracted or in love. This is when you stupidly let your guard down and let yourself vulnerable.
Yet this phase for me is the best. I remembered not being able to take it anymore; I was so tired of wanting something and doing nothing about it so I poured all of my emotions to this single text message (it has 6 parts hehehe). And it was very rewarding indeed. Given the fact that I'm gay and non-conventional, that was the bravest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I've done it before in high school but compared to that day it was completely way off the roof.
4. Perks
Just when you thought that you couldn't like the person more even if you try, certain qualities and things about him surface that will make you fall harder. You're getting to know the person better and some of the things that you would learn about him might even exceed your expectations. This is when you truly fall in love and be with the person
I wouldn't say that I fell in love with the guy. But as we texted and I get to communicate all of my feelings with him, I fell for him harder. I found new things about me and him everyday that would make me smile wider and face my everyday with a lighter heart. I was so happy during this phase. It seems that I finally got rid of all my inhibitions; very happy indeed.
5. Tipping Point
This is when things get ugly. Sometimes, knowing things about people don't prove helpful at all. How would you feel when your person of interest chew loudly, has children, smells bad, went to jail before or has imperforate anus?
The tipping point phase started when this guy started showing a bit of attitude. The reason why I don't like bisexuals is that they can be collectively narrowed down to this beings who just can't help but feel that they looks so good and that they're so important that people like me would die when they disappear. I hate egomaniacs.
And the guy I'm talking about turned out to be one, sadly. He started showing this very rude and insensitive attitude of his. I'm not saying that he's all like that, na talagang masama siyang tao, but he chose to show that kind of impression to me. I found that very unfair.
6. Purgatory
Purgatory is that hypothetical place between heaven and hell where people get to be purified of their sins so that they'll prove worthy of being in God's grace. On the other hand, as a phase, it's when you become unsure of where you want to sail the relationship to; either towards its thrive or end. You'd end up being confused for you still like the person, but you can't help this nagging feeling that you're making a huge mistake by staying with him/her.
I stayed in this phase too long. He was no good, I knew that. But what can I do? I've never felt that kind of emotion for a long time. I ended going back and forth with liking and hating him. It's the worst thing I ever have to deal with when it comes to other people.
7. Confrontation
It's the "Can we talk?" phase. It's that time when you can't handle all the pain, frustrations and anger anymore. It's the time when you face your partner and talk about where both of you stand in the relationship. This phase is when you and your partner either work your differences or send your relationship to the drain.
It's a shame that I got nothing but a very insulting lie with confronting the guy. I asked him if he's still open to the idea of being serious with me and if he really just consider me as a friend. He said that it's not like I'm only a friend to him, it's just that friendship is all that he can offer to me or to anybody at that time. I could have waited for him. But all of these proved BS the day after when he told the whole world that he wants a boyfriend. How about that for a slap in the face? Hehehe.
8. Fallout
Since when did the word fallout was used as substituite for break-up? Anyways this is it. This is the ugliest part for it's when you lose all rationality and allow your full wide range of emotions to take over. And this is when you finally get to realize how stupid you are for toying with your mind and for liking the person.
I deleted him from my contacts and have destroyed every chances of even having him as a friend. That's all there is to it.
9. Co-existence
Actually there's a 9th phase, though it doesn't occur that often. It's when you finally get over all the ugliness between the two of you and be able to live without causing discomforts to each other. It's when you become open to a healthy, though not intimate, relationship with the person and bury the hatchet that you have.
Me? I don't know. I'm not mad anymore. Nor am I bitter. But I'm not exactly sure if I wanted to be friends with someone who lied to me at my most vulnerable moment and just when I needed him most to tell me the truth. Maybe yes, maybe not. But probably not, for I'll go at great lengths to not have anything to do with him. He's such a huge mistake. . .
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